You know what I'm not? A SAHM. Thank God.

I've learned a lot this week. Namely, I am so fucking grateful that I'm not a stay at home mom.

Normally, the kids go with their Dad during the day because I refuse to pay for daycare for kids who really only need enough supervision to make sure they don't burn the house down or kill each other. Tuesday, I had a big project I was working on and I needed Photoshop, which I don't have on my computer at work, so I worked from home. I could've still sent them to their Dad's, but it was a beautiful day, I figured I could work and the kids could just play outside and I could work uninterrupted. So wrong. They played outside, but funny thing. When the windows are open because it's 85 degrees outside and 117 inside, you can hear everything. EVERYTHING. For the first 2 hours, I listened to them play this incarnation of Deal or No Deal (they watch a lot of Game Show Network during the day at their Dad's, what can I say), only instead of suitcases, they used the basketball. I never realized how extraordinarily bossy Kat was, she's yelling at David, No! I'm the host! No! You go over there! No! That's not how the rules are! David, do it MY way! Holy shit, it was driving me nuts. I "reminded" her about 27 times to play nice, and by reminded, I mean I yelled out the window, knock it off.

So then after lunch, I told them that they could play with the hose in the backyard. I really, really needed to get my project done for a big presentation I had, so I was hoping the bickering would stop if they cooled off a little. Nope. They argued over who gets to spray the hose, who had it longer, who sprayed who last. It was excruciating. About 3 hours into that, they finally got along, only to send me straight into madness. They decided to sing. The Barney song. Over, and over, and over, and over. Finally I was like, GOOD CHRIST PLEASE STOP SINGING! Then they went back to fighting. Sigh. Now normally I would have some reprieve at 2:20 when Chris got out of work, but he's working a different shift this week and isn't home until almost 8:00. I had to make dinner, get all the housework done, begin my slow descent into madness AND get my project done.

How these moms stay home and deal with that shit all day is beyond me. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, I really do. I do not love staying home with them all day. Granted, I was with them all day Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, but I don't think it's normal to have kid overload after 4 days. To do it day in and day out...I'd need to be committed. I have to do it again next week, to be home with them all day. I'm afraid. Hold me.