Fragments

Friday again, another installment of fragments. I'd love to say that this week just flew by, but it really didn't. It really, really didn't.

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Coolest saying ever: nuggets of wisdom. It reminds me of poop. If wisdom was poop, or if nuggets meant poop, I don't know. Nevermind. Made more sense in my head.

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Every August, Davey goes to football camp. It's run by the high school football coach (who incidentally was the coach and gym teacher when I was in high school). David looks forward to this camp all spring and summer long. Well, there was a message on the answering machine, they'd cancelled it. Didn't say why. The poor kid is heartbroken. The lady who called said, in lieu of football camp, we're willing to offer you a free week at the outdoors camp. Ok, first off lady, it isn't free. I already paid my $100. Second, "in lieu of" a stupid saying. Third, outdoor camp and football camp are so not the same thing. Now look what you made him do.

It's a sign he made. Supper bumed. Poor kid is so distraught he can't even spell. I think he was going for super bummed. I'm also not sure why the P on the guys' chest is backwards. Might have to check into that.

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Actual conversation via text message:

Me: Do I make you happy?

Chris: Of course you do.

Me: What if I had an unfortunate accident with a wood chipper and I lost the bottom half of my body, and we could never have sex again. Would I still make you happy?

Chris: In the unlikely event that you were critically injured in a wood chipper accident, yes, you'd still make me happy.

Me: What if I had to talk around on my hands? Or pull my torso behind me?

Chris: Yes. I would still be eternally grateful that I was with you.

Me: What if I had to use my chin to walk because the wood chipper gave me gangrene and I had to have my arms cut off and I inched around like a caterpillar?

Chris: In that incredibly morbid event, I would still be happy. Not happy that you were a human inch worm, but happy to be with you.

Me: Ok good. Just checking.

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I spent some time going through my archives this week, fixing old links, making sure everything was pretty and all cleaned up. If you notice that I missed something or something is not working, let me know, granted I may tell you go to hell, but that's a risk we're gonna have to take. If you're interested in going down the rabbit hole a little further check them out. It's kind of interesting to see how I used to try to be a good little mommy blogger. I even tried the no swearing policy. Then it went to shit and I decided to stop trying to be something I'm not. I went back and tried to change all the "fricking" and "friggin" to fucking, because c'mon. Who am I trying to kid?

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How was your week?

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Check out more Friday Fragments with Mrs4444.

Fragments

So I've been looking for something "catchy" for a weekly post. I thought about doing Flashback Fridays, but then as I started writing these stories, almost all of them started with, this one time, when I was drunk/high (did I not tell you I used to be a total juvenile delinquent?) and since I have to preserve some modicum of integrity, albeit, not much obviously, I just can't tell those stories. Then I considered doing the Wordless Wednesday thing, but the only pictures I ever see are from Cake Wrecks or I Can Has Cheezburger, so that wouldn't work. Then I thought about doing Monday Magic, would be like all about some great new crafting project or some kick ass recipe that I made, then I remembered that I sincerely suck at crafting and I can't boil water without burning it. The only thing that I could really come up with was Friday Fragments, which is about the random thoughts that I've had throughout the week, the random things that just need to be shared and really don't need a whole post. Brilliant, right? Yes, because I'm really good at being random. Just work with me here.

Here we go.

• You know where I'm not going? BlogHer. If you haven't heard about it, it's this big conference in Chicago that (mostly) women go to. They do all kind of networking, get all kinds of goodies, learn to be even more awesome. It sounds really cool, but I'm not going. And I probably never will. I don't really like people, especially new people. And I don't like being away from home without my family. I'm totally needy and dependent that way. Plus Chris is cheap and I can't see him ever agreeing to pay for a trip about blogging. He's supportive, just not THAT supportive.


• As much as I try to be one of the cool kids, I'm actually not. I really, really don't get twitter. Yeah, I can twitter, send my little tweets and such. But I just don't get it. And when I reply to people, they don't reply to me, so I don't know if it's because people don't really like me and think that I'm retarded, or twitter people are just mean. Sometimes I tell myself that they just can't see my tweets because if they could, and they didn't reply, and they did think I was just retarded, that would just feed my inferiority complex, and then I'd get put back on anxiety medication, and it would just be a big mess. You can still follow me though. That would make me feel a little better.
  
  
• You know what word I'm really digging today? Clusterfuck. Great word, way underused.
  
  
• I almost got hair extensions put in. I'm so sick of trying to grow my hair out. I called a salon and even made an appointment. Then I told Chris how much they were going to be ($400) and after he stopped having an aneurysm, he told me I'd better be damned sure I wanted them. So to help make up my mind, I played around on thehairstyler.com, one of those sites where you take a picture of yourself and then try on hair. It was so much fun it was scary.

Some sexy stripper hair:

With an afro:

Channeling Princess Leia (on crack):

How was your week?

UPDATE 7/28/09: Apparently great minds really do think alike. There is a fabulous blog (which you should totally check out), Half-Past Kissin' Time, and she has this great weekly thing called, ding, ding, ding! Friday Fragments! She's been doing it for awhile, so I wanted to give her props (since she did it first). Here I am thinking that I had the best idea ever, I found her blog today and the best idea ever was someone else's first. Who knew?